Sexual abuse in the family

When families experience something like sexual abuse, it can be an extremely difficult situation. A male member, either the father or a brother, perpetrates most sexual abuse in families. Because it is family, many of the victims of sexual abuse are afraid to blow the whistle. They do not want to be the reason their family is torn apart, or their father goes to prison. No matter how poor the logic is, as it is the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim, this is the common problem.

Because of the lack of reporting it, most sexual abuse in families will go on for years, the average being a two year span, but some much more. The degree of sexual abuse changes with each case. In some cases the molestation is mild, touching, caresses, and the like. In others it is severe, including penetration, and sometimes impregnation.
Unfortunately, most sexual abuse happens with someone you know and are familiar with. While there are certainly cases of rape out there, the subtle, and more mental forms of sexual abuse almost always occur with a person the victim is familiar with, which is why it is so difficult for them to understand what is happening, and put a stop to it.
Sexual abuse in families generally starts out as a show of affection. A brother may get in bed with his sister during a storm, under the pretense of comfort. This "innocent" comforting may go on for a while, and start to escalate, with hugging, kissing, touching, and eventually intercourse. Because it is a gradual process, most perpetrators have the chance to work a mental warfare on the victim as well. They convince them that it is not wrong, that it is simply comfort, and expressing affection. They may tell them that it is their duty to perform sexual acts etc. For example, a girl's mother may be sick and unable to please her father, and so the father may tell her that the duty falls to her to make sure he is happy.
The sense of "duty" or "honor" and the family ties often lead to years of sexual abuse; abuse that may never be over completely, and only stops for a time because the victim moves out to go to college, etc.
Most victims of sexual abuse in their families will isolate themselves. They know in their hearts that the situation is wrong, and so in fear of a friend finding out what is going on, they distance themselves from all friends, and eventually have none. This leads to it being even more difficult to end the abuse because they feel isolated and alone, and worry that no one will believe them, or support them.
If you or someone you know is suffering from sexual abuse in their family, it is critical that you help them put a stop to it. It is a difficult situation, and the victim is not usually in a place mentally to handle it, but there is help out there. A great example is the Into the Light helpline for children who are victims of sexual abuse. To contact them, or another group for support look them up.

The Early Portion

UtahFM DJ Portia Early's take on the local music scene.

This is the first column of a series that will appear monthly. The Early Portion will focus on UtahFM DJ Portia Early’s (UtahFM.org Mondays, 3-6 p.m.) take on the local music scene via interviews, CD reviews and Portia’s personal reflections on what’s going down around town.

Hip-hop doesn’t seem to be mainstream here in Utah, even though it’s an insanely popular genre nationally. But it is here, and the scene is filled with passion.

I had tea at the Beehive Tea Room with Young Sim from Feel Good Music Coalition, and solo artists Kiliona Palauni (who performs simply as Kiliona) and Emerson Kennedy. The three met through their local producer, Wes Thompson.

Sim’s label offers a foundation for artists in rap, soul and other genres to deliver quality rhymes and music about real life. And they currently perform quarterly live showcases of Feel Good artists at Legends Pub & Grill in downtown SLC.

MusicShortFeat_Rappers_110303.jpgEmerson and Kiliona have performed on the FGM bill and collaborated with each other on recordings. They agree that the hip-hop scene in Utah is low-key, but there is an immense amount of support within the community. Sure, there are cliques like anywhere else, but Sim believes that since he moved here from Pennsylvania in 2006, the support and the music has grown significantly due to more passionate artists wanting to share their skills.

Besides the Legends showcases, you can regularly find rap gigs at venues like The Urban Lounge, Kilby Court and In The Venue, even though there isn’t a venue to exclusively see rap shows in Utah.

The talent’s definitely here, though. One favorite of Emerson’s is young rapper Definition (Dean Risko), who recently moved to California. Emerson also has representation in Los Angeles. “Don’t be a halfway artist,” Emerson states over his second cup, acknowledging his ambition to work beyond Utah’s borders.

One chord that struck me was that Emerson’s mother told him not to leave with only potential, and that shows in his music. “I would just like to tour full time,” said Kiliona, whose current act includes videography and modern dancers. “It’s nice to give [the audience] a ‘present’ rather than just hearing you singing rap.”

Utah’s ski scene is a major part of the hip-hop world here, too; on our ski resorts, you can often find slopers jamming to a local rap act. Kiliona chimed in after his chocolate mint buzz that MC Skinwalker, a local favorite, pulls a lot of skier/snowboarder guys.
Sim has high hopes for original, passionate hip-hop to grow in Utah due to the booming business done in Salt Lake City. These men aren’t merely being dainty meeting me at the Beehive Tea Room, but they are dreamers. Not everyone has such high hopes for Utah’s hip-hop scene, but these guys are proof there’s definitely something good brewing.